Maybe I'm just old fashioned or too conservative....
But I've always been taught the whole, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all thing.
Seems simple. I mean it's something I teach my daughter. The whole golden rule thing. If you wouldn't want someone to say it to you, then you shouldn't say it to them....
Now, it's not like I can't take criticism. I know I'm set in my ways, and I'm not likely to change the way I do certain things. But that doesn't mean I can't take what's dished at me, be it helpful or not. I mean, you never know if your suggestion helps someone, or if they're rolling their eyes thinking, duh like I haven't already thought of that. But there's a difference between criticism and just plain rudeness.
Example of helpful (well meaning) criticism: If your having problems with your black icing, try adding some cocoa powder to it.
See, addressing a problem that she felt I had a concern about with the intentions of helping. And providing a solution...
Let's try another one: If you lined closer to the edges of your cookie, it would look nicer because you would see less cookie.
Ok, this has more to do with preference or aesthetic taste, but still attempting to be helpful.
Not offensive comments....
Now how about the opposite:
"That cookie is ugly."
"So and so's cookies are better than yours..."
"Your a giant *****"
Um...have we met? Uh no....
What do I do with that?
See that falls into the category of being a little impolite. That isn't in any way helpful criticism. It's just kinda rude.
Still....people disagree...ok sure. If you feel that you need to express that then, ok.
But here is where I draw the line. If your comment uses language that is offensive...as in it would be edited from cable television, public radio.....Language that is in no way suitable for this blog..... it will not be published. It will be deleted.
Sorry if that makes me an old mama hen, or THE MAN, but this blog is a happy place. It's meant to be a safe space. That is one of the reasons I monitor comments. Obviously the main reason is so I won't overlook a comment if someone has a question, but also to keep this place from becoming a cheap pool hall (or something like that). If it isn't language I would use, I don't think that any reader of mine wants to be exposed to it.
So you can dish it, but if I don't publish it, it's because even tho you may not like me and want to call me every name you can possibly think of, I don't think anyone who reads my blog wants to read it.
I may be a sort of abrupt person, and my preggo hormones may have had me me being a little more abrupt than usual this last year, but please know that any comment I make is ALWAYS meant in the kindest sense, to be helpful. That's why I have the blog, answer all the emails I can get to, and make the videos. I want to be helpful.
Will I respond to a comment of helpful, well meaning criticism? Yes. Especially if it's something I've tried before. And it's not to defend myself, or because I can't handle criticism. It's because, if I have tried said suggestion before, and it doesn't work for me, I think it might be interesting to an other reader. All in an attempt to be helpful. It's just another viewpoint. Just because it works for you doesn't mean it works for me. And more importantly, just because it works for me, that certainly doesn't mean it will work for you. Everyone has to find what they like and get in their own groove. I'm just throwing out what I do hoping maybe it helps someone.
Example: the comment above about the cocoa in the black icing, I have tried it before and it didn't work for me so well. Is the comment wrong? Absolutely not. I appreciate that she was trying to help. And I know TONS of people who use that method with success. I have found it changes the consistency of my icing and that makes me a little nutty. But guess what....I have some black cookies to flood this weekend and I think I'm going to give that method another shot....because you never know. And it's all because she reminded me of something I had tried before and forgotten.
And everyone has their own style too. That's something I've learned through the last 5 years. It's like a signature. In no way do I think anyone's cookies are "better" than someone else's. I may prefer a certain aesthetic style but I respect and admire every decorator out there no matter how alike or different we may be. I would never try to bring their creativity down. What is the point of that? Unless I'm insecure...which I am not.
Feels silly even feeling like I have to write this really.
But anyways, for a more elaborate, and far more entertaining post about all this stuff, please head over to Lila Lola's post about internet etiquette. It's really a delight to read. So much more than my little post here.
Plus you get to ogle some gorgeous cookies to boot. :)